so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
