Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
