I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize