ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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