i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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