woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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