my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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