bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize