You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
