I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
