Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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