i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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