Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
