She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize