you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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