so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
