I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
