Why are handjobs necessary in class?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
