some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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