I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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