I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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