ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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