Me too!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I think I sprained my soul last night
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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