i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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