Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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