i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
