I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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