I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
