love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
