this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
