foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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