whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
