And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize