Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
accomplished twins. life is a go
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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