I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
