he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize