so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
