I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
