You really coming over, don't trick.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
