do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
