I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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