I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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