CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
