so explain again why im purple
no
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
