Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
