The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize