I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Be still, my beating vagina.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
