i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Floor bacon is actually really good
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
