i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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