So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
