I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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