and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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