I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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