literally had 100 drinks last night.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
