I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
