she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
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