I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
