I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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