How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
