you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize