My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
