ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
