I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize