I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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