tell your sister to shave her snatch
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
