they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize