Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
