Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
