My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
