You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Who died my cat blue again?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
