we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
