The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
smell my finger.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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